Ok, it’s time to take an inventory of the people in your life. Although we are embarking on a new year in less than three days, any time is a good time to take inventory.
Who makes you feel nourished after spending time with them? And I don’t mean physically nourished; although, it is nice to be fed by a partner, spouse, etc. every once in a while. ;) I mean, who nourishes your soul? Who fills your cup? And on the other end of the spectrum, who makes you feel like you’re starving? If you have more people in your life who make you feel like you’re starving than who make you feel nourished, then it may be time to cut some cords.
One way to determine whether someone makes you feel more nourished or starved is by gauging how you feel after you spend time with that person. Do you feel energized or depleted? Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel depleted after interacting with someone. I’ve had one too many encounters after which I’ve shut my office door and journaled, meditated, or cried because the other person’s negative energy and toxicity got the best of me. And it’s absolutely OK to take care of yourself in those types of situations. If you have an interaction after which you feel depleted, then by all means do something to fill your cup back up! There is nothing better than self-love.
You might ask, what does it mean to feel nourished by someone? This means that you feel empowered, valued, inspired, and validated when you spend time with that person. That person makes you feel like your ideas and opinions matter. On the other hand, what does it mean to feel starved by someone? It means that you feel invalidated, devalued or undervalued, and disempowered when you spend time with that person. That person makes you feel worthless and as though your ideas and opinions do not matter. How does it feel to read this? Does it bring to mind positive thoughts about the people in your life, or does it trigger feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration? If you are feeling any of those latter emotions, remember that it’s normal and it’s OK. Use those emotions to propel you to take action. Think about the changes that you are going to make from this day forward. Keep in mind that your personal space and energy are valuable, and not everyone is deserving of your energy, time, and space.
Even though this entire blog post is about recognizing who is filling your cup in your life and who is not, remember that filling your own cup on a daily basis supersedes anyone else filling your cup. After all, you cannot expect others to do for you what you are not already doing for yourself. Nourish yourself every day. You are worth it.